Oh sweet fuckity fuck, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time

Upon visiting one of my all time favorite websites, geekologie.com, I found this truly hysterical shit.  Thank you geekologie writer, thank you.

*Please Note: I do not condone violence and am highly opposed to weaponry of any sort.  But I do condone dumbasses. 

Husband and wife team are all sorts of funny

Meet Hollie.  Hollie is blonde.  Hollie is married.  Hollie has no deeply rooted issues. Hollie does not display symptoms of mental illness.  Hollie does not freak out in public.  But Hollie cries at the end of almost every movie, happy or sad.  Darth Vader makes Hollie sad.  Hollies husband thinks this is funny.  Said husband films Hollies crying commentaries and posts them here. Hollie thinks this is funny too (or at least for now).

This dynamic duo also post other things online. Are you a true ninja?  Find out here. I've always wanted to be a ninja, but deep in my heart I know I'm really a pirate (it's the clothes, yo!).  Unlike me, this husband and wife team really are ninjas since this cleverly designed site is really a front for a Christian website.  Stealth little bastards...

You'll shoot your eye out

It never ceases to amaze me how many people create stupid shit and this 'Penny Shooter Business Card' is no exception.  Seriously dude, within business circumstances, how could this possibly be a good idea?

"Thank you for your attending the Annual International Astronomy Conference, I appreciate your keen attention during the question briefing regarding electromagnetism and quantum mechanics. Refreshments will be served in the lounge, please help yourself to a brochure and business card...*pew, pew pew!*..."  And because the business card is the single most powerful networking tool, be generous. Take a penny, leave a penny.

Pictured below: The only scenario I feel this business card can be applied to.  But rather than  shooting a row of pennies it needs to be powerful enough to shoot a row of condoms.

I only lasted 54 seconds

Hilarious quiz that lasts only as long as you  do.  Ready... Set... GO! 

Pictured below: What you're up against.  PS, according to Unencyclopedia,  the Velociraptor is a big fat jerk. 

FU Cookie Monster! Me eat cookie now, Om Nom nom nom...

I don't know who this bitch is but she looks pretty pissed and I think she has permanently suppressed this Sesame Street characters voracious appetite for cookies.  Damn, I better go hide my Chips Ahoy.

Pictured below:  Too late, it looks as though he saw the Cookie Monster Slayer coming...

The dumbest thing I have ever seen in my life

One, two, three times a charm...

OK, I don't actively follow One Tree Hill, but I admit I have stumbled upon it enough times to figure out that Dan is a giant asshole and a lot of people want him dead.  Presumably, so does the CW Network.  In two past episodes Dan awaits a heart transplant and each scenario goes horribly awry.  The most recent and third episode does not disappoint.  You can catch the ridiculous fun here.

Pictured below: What I pressume was Dans reaction.

You'll never look at laundry the same way again

Mad Magazine, founded by editor Harvey Kurtzman and publisher Willian Gaines (1952), had originated as a comic book that took a satirical look at the media and cultural landscape of the 20th Century.  During the 1990's MADtv was developed as an American sketch comedy television series which licenses the name and logo of Mad launching it's first episode on October 14, 1995.  Other than animated Spy vs. Spy and Don Martin cartoon shorts with images of Alfred E. Neuman, the show has no other association with the humor magazine. 

MADtv recently took a satirical look at 'Snuggle Bear', the cute and lovable little mascot from Snuggle Fabric Softener and what could potentially happen if you found yourself face-to-face with a talking bear who magically appears in your laundry room.  To view the hilarious but gruesome antics, click here.

To Team Regretsy with love

And don't forget to brush your teeth and wash behind your ears!

 

Flying Nuns... Wheee!

This not only looks like fun, but is a real photograph taken at Tyburn Convent (London, UK I looked it up Yo!) by Shannon Taggart Photography. Shannon's work is umm... interesting... you can look it up yourself if you care to see; but, what I like about this particular segment of her work is that it shows that Nuns are people too!

Pictured below: More Nun Fun

Halp me, haaalp meeee...

Wow. I want this guy to come to my Halloween party next year. Just one question, how did the guy in the dinosaur half of the costume manage to carry around that guy in the box all day?

For those of you who thought that was a serious question, please raise right hand and slap forehead repeatedly.