Friday, February 27, 2009
Remember when you were a kid and your teacher said there are no stupid questions? Well he was an idiotic lying sack of shit.
Everyday we are forced to face stupid people who ask us stupid questions. And we exercise the right to answer these questions as we choose. But unfortunately, we can't answer all the stupid questions we are forced to listen to every day, the questions asked... on the radio. Below are some of the dumbest questions forced on us daily through the joy of song.
"Diva" - Beyonce asks: This is a stick, up, stick up, I need them bags, huh, that money. Stick up, stick up, you see them ask, where that money?
Beyonce, we know where all that money is. With styler/designer Tina Knowles, manager Matthew Knowles, singer actress Sonlange Knowles, and... are you ready for this jelly? ... go take a look in the mirror.
"Paper Planes" M.I.A. asks: So, uh, no funny business, are you ready? Some, some, some I, some I murder. Some I , some I let go. Some, some, some I , some I murder. Some I, some I let go.
Considering the fact that she has just admitted she is capable of murder, I'm not sticking around to find out the answer to that question. I don't want to be one of some some some that she murders, I want to be one of some some some she lets go.
"You Found Me" The Fray asks: Where were you when everything was falling apart? All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang. Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Why'd you have to wait to find me, to find me? Where were you?
Well, I know where I wasn't, and that's watching you watching me from behind the bushes outside of my house.
"My Humps" - The Black Eyed Peas asks: What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?
You bastards! I'm calling Jenny Craig...! [*runs away sobbing profusely*]
"Where Was I?" - David Hasselhoff asks: Baby I'm confused. Well, wasn't that you in my bed? When love finally said good-bye, where was I?
I could be wrong here, but I think you were eating pizza off the floor.
"Get On The Bus" - Destiny's Child (featuring Timbaland) asks: Why you sleepin' with ya eyes closed?
I can only answer that one with another question: What the fuck is wrong wit choo?? [*my index finger is up in yo face, and my head is sashaying from shoulder to shoulder*]